To Be Right

As the days keep passing, I can't help but wonder; 'Is this where I am supposed to be?'. This is all rambling, but I keep feeling like I did something wrong. That I should go home, back to what I know. And it feels especially draining when you think things have begun to fall into place, only for them to come apart again. When it's late at night, and I sit outside in the night air alone, I keep asking myself if I am happy here. It seems random, but I did a survey today; a lengthy, standardized one administered by my university. The last question stuck with me "Do you feel like you belong?". The question, in itself, was not intended to be deep. It was what I can only assume to be some litmus test of how well the university is integrating new students. But that one, simple question has turned me on my head a bit. Do I belong here? Am I happy here? Is this as fulfilled as I should feel? Maybe I am nostalgic, or missing home, or just weary of the future. I just don't know how to find comfort in somewhere so uncomfortable. I feel alone. I feel like I am less me. And I have no idea what to do about it. I wish I could skip forward a few years, just to know this is right. That what I am doing, and feeling, and experiencing is right. But I have no idea, and no idea what to do about it. This post to anyone else probably just sounds like a random, poorly written collection of overly dramatic thoughts. And in all fairness, it basically is. I think more than anything, I wish I could go back to how good life was. How it felt not always missing home, and my family, and all of the other things and people that I love. But now, it seems impossible to return to that feeling.